December 10, 2014

"Some of the most disturbing, subtle, insidious, racist comments I’ve seen over the past few weeks have been from my white male Facebook friends."

"I know a lot of my friends are just mass defriending people, but I’m not quite there yet, because I’m (foolishly, naively) hoping I can reach some of you in a way that creates some kind of change."

There's a lot of mass defriending going on, but this one benevolent lady is willing to patiently explain what you need to do to save yourself.

Repent, for the kingdom of heaven mass defriendment is at hand...

80 comments:

The Drill SGT said...

I for one am prepared to be defriended by Cera...

rehajm said...

#NotRealFriends


Her favorite Ninja Turtle is Donatello.

She says Donatello is the best but I'd wager she privately desires Raphael

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent said...

Most mature white males of my acquaintance realize that Facebook is a haven for chicks and unemployed jerk-offs. Defriend away...

MayBee said...

Whatever you do, do not assume you are the one who may have an opinion worth reconsidering.

It is always, always, they.

Paul said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nonapod said...

Call me cynical, but my suspicion is that the author of this piece doesn't really have any "white male" Facebook friends who fit the profile she's laid out here.

Paul said...

The friend of my friend is not necessarily my friend.

Dave Schumann said...

Yeah it's pretty clear she'd see "most subtle" as a bad thing.

Lyssa said...

I'm sad that this woman has such a cartoonish idea of what people who she calls friends believe. Would she be willing to listen to a lecture like this from them (where she is told to breath, don't get defensive, listen and understand them). There's probably some truth to both of their positions, but her mind is as closed to it as anyone's.

Alexander said...

White males be doing saying mean things on facebook. Course, white males aren't raping Lena Dunham, or women at UVA, or groping "drunk girls", or harassing women in NYC. So I'm willing to bet that there aren't, in fact, white men on her facebook page publicly saying these things.

Not because they don't necessarily believe them, but the sort of white men a Donatello-loving, SanFran teacher is going to associate with aren't going to go against the PC grain en masse.

So I'm saying it's another woman lying to push an anti-white male narrative.

Meanwhile, White females are getting their lungs filled with lighter fluid and lit up on the sides of roads like Roman Candles. But we're not gonna have *that* conversation about a war on women, now are we, Salon?

Gotta keep the narrative going.

Brando said...

Translation--"anyone who doesn't agree with my leftist outlook is not just being a racist, but being a subtle racist but not so subtle I can't see their racism. I'm also a terrible judge of friends. Did I mention I'm a retard?"

Fen said...

No, the mass de-friending already occurred when the Social Justice Warriors began their #BlameAllMen for the misogynist shooter, followed by their condescending and obnoxious campaign to "teach" all men that rape is wrong.

Any SJWs that want to make Brown/Garner about racism have long since been culled from my feed.

William said...

It's time for a national mute button on race......These conversations don't seem to be working out.

lemondog said...

Sigh....

Matthew 7:1-5King James Version (KJV)

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Howard said...

She is exhibiting the clueless white female privilege that only a "dance*maker*" from the Gay Area can exhibit.

Shanna said...

White females are getting their lungs filled with lighter fluid and lit up on the sides of roads like Roman Candles. But we're not gonna have *that* conversation about a war on women, now are we, Salon?

That one hits a bit too close to home for me. Memphis is a mess and I read about murders and stabbings in Little Rock every day.

I hope that lady did not really post all that on facebook because it just screams 'skip my nonsense'. If my facebook friends have annoying political opinions, I just ignore them, because politics is not the reason we are friends. This lady should do the same.

Unless you are talking about some guy you set next to in a class in 8th grade, in which case defriend away.

BarrySanders20 said...

Ha! My wife, good Catholic that she is, friended the Pope after she read something he (or a handler) posted. Then came the relentless posts, and, eventually, with a guilty conscience, she DE-FRIENDED THE POPE!

Off to confession!

Xmas said...

I'm sorry, I can't take advice on how to not be racist from a white belly dancer.

Jane the Actuary said...

So her bottom line is, "unless you're out there supporting my political position by joining me in protest marches (or supporting The Cause in other ways I'll dictate to you), you are racist." It's a Sin of Omission sort of thing.

And the correct rejoinder is this: how far can you push your friends before they defriend *you* and, giving up on the whole project, just enjoy their White Privledge?

Gahrie said...

women = good

Men (especially White men) = bad

Bob Ellison said...

In reality, white males have defriended FaceBook. It's a bastion of feminism, leftism, and race-baiters.

Pinterest is much better, because people post pics of stuff that they admire. I don't have an account, but my wife does, and I have to say those folks have eyes for design. They're pretty much all women.

Fernandinande said...

IOW, just agree with the race hustlers and socialists.

You may have never said the N-word.

Correct - because I'm not in pre-school. If you mean "nigger" say "nigger", you wimpy little honky.

Brian said...

"That is what I’m inviting you to do here — open yourself up, compassionately expand your frame of reference."

...because *I* sure as Hell ain't going to open *myself* up to the notion that you *aren't* a racist, you blue-eyed devil.

Deirdre Mundy said...

People have threatened to defriend me a few times. They're usually old college/ high school acquaintances who friended me because they needed help with a job search.

So, I don't change my behavior, because it's not like I'll miss their poorly sourced memes and dedication to exterminating the lower classes through abortion.......

But, they never do unfriend me. Apparently it's an empty threat.

I'm more sympathetic to the former students who are now in the pay of OFA... I can understand why they don't want my opinions on their walls-- they could lose their jobs, and they need the money to feed their families.

So, yeah, I'll shut up if it's taking food out of your baby's mouth, but not if you're just offended that I poked holes in your meme!

Bobber Fleck said...

It's tough being a conservative white male. You get up in the morning knowing there are blacks to oppress, women to demean, an entire ecological environment to pollute, unions to squash, children to endanger, identity groups to offend, tax loopholes to exploit, and countless acts of hatred to commit.

With all the work to be done at least your day goes quickly.

rhhardin said...

The left is the last to know that racism no longer works as a charge.

m stone said...

Cera should be confined to Twitter and 140 characters.

RazorSharpSundries said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RazorSharpSundries said...

From Cera BYER's keystrokes to God's ear.

JAORE said...

I'm on Facebook. Through FB I get to see frequent pictures of my grandchildren that live out of state. Fortunately the author is not one I rely for those pictures.

I suspect her FB page is a bit less of what I consider family oriented.

Oh yeah, there is none so blind...

Henry said...

In order to mass defriend people you first have to friend a whole lot of people who aren't your friend.

The medium is the mess.

YoungHegelian said...

There are some people who seem to need FB as a place to do moral grandstanding about pretty much any topic.

That this woman went all self-righteous on a racial topic is common enough. Nowadays, the purpose of racial topics is for moral grandstanding. Hell, I've had FB commenters go all moral high-horse on me over what I thought were fairly anodyne comments on the history of the Byzantine Empire, much less Ferguson!

Clyde said...

Feh. She can go screw herself, in a non-racist, non-sexist way.

Freeman Hunt said...

Our community has seen a lot of mass defriendings lately.

A local city council passed an ordinance imposing criminal and civil penalties for discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity, and socioeconomic status (among other things.) The law didn't define these terms and was so poorly written that no one knew how to comply with it. A repeal effort was mounted followed by most of the people on my Facebook feed denouncing the pro-repealers as ignorant bigots. (The law says it's for fairness, so it must be!)

Many announced their desire to unfriend any "bigots" who disagreed.

The repeal passed, and the ordinance is gone.

I'm glad I don't live in that particular town.

Anonymous said...

An antidote to the freak show that is salon.com:

https://twitter.com/Salondotcom

Watch Chris Matthews IMPALE this tea party candidate and leave his children weeping in the charred remains of their once-happy home

It's time that we confront the sexist motivations behind the discovery of calculus

Why racial justice demands we import Ebola to Sweden to infect some white people already

"Are you trying to tell me incest isn't hot?": How Thanksgiving helped conquer my hangups

"Evolution is a beautiful, dangerous slut": James Watson once again confirms that science is too white and too male

"We thought they were lawn gnomes": White Yale students kidnapped black preschoolers and took pictures of them around the world

What GOP controlled Senate could mean for the right-wing rape decriminalization agenda

HoodlumDoodlum said...

I hovered over the link, saw it was to Salon.com, and moved on. Is that evidence of epistemic closure, or just the voice of experience?

Bill said...

Another La Pasionaria of Nothingness.

Gusty Winds said...

My white male friend, you might actually believe in your heart that you are not racist.

Isn't it racist of this woman to assume she knows what is in a white man's heart just by his naturally assigned gender and the color of his skin?

Danno said...

Maybe the white males she knows are privileged, being mostly the elites that inhabit the affluent coastal areas on each side of the American continent, but most of the white males in flyover country have no such societal position and in fact are last in line for education, jobs, etc. because of affirmative action and other preferences that have been enacted in the U.S.

SJ said...

Ya'know, I've got a friend on FaceBook who she might not like.

Said friend is a Police Officer.

He deals with all sorts of problems day in and day out. (Stupid people, dangerous drivers, violent people, drunk drivers, domestic-disputes, petty theft, non-cooperative suspects, etc.)

Every once in a while, I'll see stories about Police Officers saving lives on the side of the road.

He also posts stories about some guy who dies while socializing with criminals or attempting a crime. Almost always, the TV news crew finds Mom or GrandMa, who says My boy was a good kid. Was just about to turn his life around.

In response, he says things like
Well, if the dead guy had turned his life around a little sooner, he'd still be alive, right?


Other times, I see stories about a Police Officer dying in the line of duty.*

I don't know whether it means anything in terms of race, but this friend of mine is half-Black. Occasionally, perps call him "nigger".

Oddly, he almost never mentions the race of the typical troublemaker he sees. Doesn't surprise me, though, because his jurisdiction likely has as many White perps than Black perps.

Who's the racist?

Why should I care what this particular writer sees on her own FaceBook feed?

-----------------------------------
*What's the difference between that story and the Officer-Wilson/Michael-Brown story?

Officer Smith wasn't dealing with a jaywalker who resembled a reported robber...and Officer Wilson lived to tell about Brown's attempt to steal his weapon. Officer Smith did not.

Shanna said...

A repeal effort was mounted followed by most of the people on my Facebook feed denouncing the pro-repealers as ignorant bigots. (The law says it's for fairness, so it must be!)

I've seen some of that on my feed as well. I just scroll past...

Ignorance is Bliss said...

By believing that other people’s reporting of their lived experience may be true...

I wonder how much effort she put into believing Darren Wilson's reporting of his lived experience?

George Zimmerman's?

Anonymous said...

I didn't know anyone still used Facebook. Somewhere in that sentence I'm being subtly -insiduously racist. I know that in my heart.

B said...

I've been defriended, I don't regret it. This is not about sharing experiences. This is about wanting their opinions going unchallenged. I get that you're upset, but I won't pat you on the shoulder while you spew hate.

Larvell said...

I was going to dismiss her as a pretentious blowhard, but then I saw that she's a "dancemaker."

Dr.D said...

Her whole article boils down to "I'm giving you the opportunity to be reasonable and see things my way. Now do it."

How appallingly arrogant and egocentric.

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

Only "white" and "male"? Her prejudice is showing. She needs to defriend herself.

tim in vermont said...

At least its original content. I am about done with FB, and may cut down only to friends who only post content they created themselves, with their keyboard or their phone cam.

It is hard because of family, but I would rather argue with her than see one more "Like this if you have a great son!" post. Seriously.

tim in vermont said...

Racism is another one of those words, like "rape" and "torture" that the left is trying to redefine to mean all kinds of things that dilute its meaning to nothing.

By their definition, I am a "racist" but I am not a "racist racist" just like by their definition I am a "rapist" but I am not a "rapist rapist" and by their definition I support "torture" but I do not support "torture torture"

I freely admit all of it and don't give a shit what they think about it.

tim in vermont said...

What is stupid on their part is that they really think they can maintain the social disapproval while changing the meaning of the words.

phantommut said...

I actually do have "friends" on Facebook who think like that. That's because I use Facebook to actually communicate with a couple of real friends, and to keep up with family and related community members.

People like Salon's "Dancemaker" (what the hell IS that, anyway) think straight white Libertarian males like me have no idea what it's like to be in a despised minority. Well, in my Facebook community, I pretty much AM the despised minority.

Some of these people really aren't bad humans. They just have no idea how narrow-minded and hurtful they can be, and they don't "get" that a core part of the identity they've built for themselves is a calcified hatred of The Other. And that someone they read about, whose posts make them laugh and often "Like" enthusiastically, is someone who seen as a stranger would fit squarely within the Enemy camp.

I deal with them because they are part of my world, and I'm doing what The Other has always done; I keep my head down, keep my opinion to myself, and avoid the worst offenders.

Meanwhile, I quite enjoy the online ghetto that I consider my real home.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

What a vapid bitch.

JRH, esq. said...

That is the biggest pile of verbal manure I have ever decided to not bother to read all the way to the end.

She lost me when she started spinning hypothetical scenarios that simply would not occur in any situation as her "proof."

Responding to this kind of idiocy is pointless because she's not engaged in thought, it's all a great big smear of feelings. Phrased condescendingly for extra bonus points.

damikesc said...

These conversations don't seem to be working out.

They'd work..if SJW didn't confuse "conversation" and "monologue"

chickelit said...

I'd call it a major communication failure on her part. Is that what she intended?

tim in vermont said...

The just don't understand that the core driver behind bigotry is the deep frisson of superiority that comes from believing you are better than everybody else.

Archie Bunker wasn't a bigot because it made him feel low and mean, he was a bigot because it made him fell elevated.

Liberals have no idea how deeply they drink from the well of bigotry.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

Mass de-friendings.

OH! THE HUMANITY!

Michael K said...

"However, there are many different forms of racism, not all of them are active. Many of them are passive, and they might be invisible to you, because you’re a white man. (Pause, breathe, try not to jump to defense at this idea. Stay open. Hang with me.)"

No, that's about the point I left.

She might still be friends with Obamaboy in his onesie. Other than that, trannys are about as close as she will get.

Rick67 said...

Does it need to be said that for some of us, the most disturbing, insulting, offensive comments on Fb are from our more left-leaning friends? (I either ignore the comments or - if they get bad enough - I hide that person from my timeline.)

kcom said...

"I wonder how much effort she put into believing Darren Wilson's reporting of his lived experience?"

That's the gist of it. So many people think they "understand" everyone else's life but no one understands theirs. If it's a principle that you can't understand someone's life unless you've lived it then it cuts both ways.

Here's a story from my time in the Peace Corps. I was having a conversation with my students one day and they were saying America had an advantage over their country because Americans knew how to make money. I thought, wow, they understand the importance of free enterprise, of doing things efficiently, and of innovating to be successful and make money (all things their country tended to lack). All things we're proud of here. But after talking to them further I realized that's not what they meant at all. They meant we were better off because we knew how to make, i.e. manufacture, money - cash, currency, coins. We were "rich" because we could make as much as we wanted. Their country didn't have the infrastructure to make their own money, they had to get it from somewhere else. Their understanding of economics was extremely limited, but what they knew and understood of us was real to them - we could make our own money.

Just because you think you understand someone, even a white male, doesn't mean you do. You haven't lived their life or operated in their milieu. One advantage white males have is they get to see how things work even when race isn't directly involved. And, as many of them have found out the hard way, it's not all sweetness and light. There's no big pot of cash just waiting to be picked up. One reason they might have a different perspective on things is they've seen things only they could see.

Carol said...

the most disturbing, insulting, offensive comments on Fb are from our more left-leaning friends?

Lefties and atheists..bringing up shit no one talks about in meat space if they want to keep the peace.

I've decided my most effect retort is silence. I am a paragon of passive-aggressive nonresponse.

Original Mike said...

"Their understanding of economics was extremely limited, but what they knew and understood of us was real to them - we could make our own money."

Long-time commenters may remember garage mahal using the same argument to claim the U.S. government has no deficit concerns. They can make as much money as they want.

RecChief said...

Meh. Here try this edit on for size:

" but this one benevolent Crack Emcee is willing to patiently explain what you need to do to save yourself.

RecChief said...

Is this woman's name Jackie, by any chance?

Revenant said...

You can't tell when other people defriend other people. You can only tell when people defriend you.

What she's observing is a wave of white males who don't want to associate with her anymore. I can relate.

Jupiter said...

"Some of the most disturbing, subtle, insidious, racist comments I’ve seen over the past few weeks have been from my white male Facebook friends."

The worm begins to turn.

Carl Pham said...

Oh dear. Sounds like someone just turned 31 (in the Garfunkel and Oates sense) and the difference from 29 is just dawning. Hey! You're no longer LISTENING to me!

Welp, Kubler-Ross went all through this. First comes denial, then anger, and I'd say Ms. Beyer is somewhere between those two. Let us wish her a swift and not too painful trip through bargaining and sadness.

docweasel said...

Facebook is about 6 months away from becoming the new MySpace, some people with massive amounts of time on their hands who love internet (and all) drama and attention whores will hang on for a few years yet, the rest of us have already moved on.

Unknown said...

Please feel free to delete this if its a bit off for you, but theres an old Australian comedy show which encapsulates the proper response to people like this

(contains mild swearing and adult theme)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBcLarzg1Pg

Moral vanity is still as revolting as physical vanity.

SteveR said...

Many people on Facebook spew opinions and just like people who listen to NPR or read the NYT, believe they are right and can't imagine anyone of worth disagreeing.

John said...

No, the mass de-friending already occurred when the Social Justice Warriors began their #BlameAllMen for the misogynist shooter,

Correction : The shooter, Eliot Rodger, killed 4 men and 2 women. So he killed twice as many men as women.

Don't let them omit that detail.

Guildofcannonballs said...

Myfacespacebook is, and shall remain for quite some time if my earnestness requites, the most amazing thing to not exist, my ginger soul exhales...

Trashhauler said...

Because subtlety is such a clear sign of hidden racism.

Real American said...

This idiot must really be experiencing some cognitive dissonance when people point out to her that "white privilege" is made up PC Marxist bullshit.

I may or may not be a robot.

stlcdr said...

So, what are these subtle insidious comments that demonstrates an obvious racism?

Anonymous said...

The defrienders' opinions have been duly noted and will be accorded all the respect they deserve. <snicker>

kcom said...

"So, what are these subtle insidious comments that demonstrates an obvious racism?"

Yes, notice she provides no examples. I'd be willing to wager most if not all examples she provides are bs.

TDP said...

Brian said...

"That is what I’m inviting you to do here — open yourself up, compassionately expand your frame of reference."

...because *I* sure as Hell ain't going to open *myself* up to the notion that you *aren't* a racist, you blue-eyed devil.
12/10/14, 11:03 AM


FIFY:

...because *I* sure as Hell ain't going to open *myself* up to the notion that you *aren't* a racist, you blue-eyed, penis-plagued, devil.

curmudgeoninchief said...

OMG. Ms. Byer has reached an entirely new and unexplored plenum of condescension. Let's all don our backpacks and climbing gear and explore!

Cluelessness and blindness in every direction, her concern for her fellow "white male" friends is found near the My Way Or The Highway, at the intersection of You Must Validate What I Say Road.

You can't have a conversation with somebody like this because while berating you for not listening to (validating) her, she refuses to hear anything you say she doesn't agree with. Why waste your time; let her de-friend you twice, if that's possible.