July 19, 2017

I don't want to link to anything specific for this post.

I just want to observe that stories about young women getting killed are now — almost always, it seems — illustrated by a selfie. You see the smiling-while-pursed lips, the carefully lowered chin, the raised eyebrows, the widened eyes that you know are gazing (judgmentally) into themselves. The attributes of the selfie inspire complex emotions — admiration, mockery, revulsion, desire — even when the person in the photograph is not dead. It's hard even to understand what you feel when the story is that a young person has died and here is that person, represented by a stereotypical selfie.

Before selfies became the stock representation of a young human being, stories of untimely death were illustrated by photographs in which the dead person looks truly young. We saw pictures perhaps from a family's photo album. The girlish toothy smiling seemed to express what parents and friends said about her: She was so happy, so loved. In those old pictures, lips are never arranged into that pursed smile that expresses nothing but an awareness that women who can get their mouth into the position are considered sexually desirable.

14 comments:

AllenS said...

The Kardashian generation.

Robert Cook said...

"The attributes of the selfie inspire complex emotions — admiration, mockery, revulsion, desire...."

How about just mockery and revulsion?

whitney said...

Duck lips. It's like no woman can stop herself now

traditionalguy said...

Use it or lose it. And these lost it. Which is a reminder that life is precious.

The criticism of selfies is that the picture was done alone and not in a validating social group...like publishing your own Magazine with your self on the cover.

Darrell said...

Cookie,
Take more selfies, please. Get Freder to join you.

Laslo Spatula said...

Dear Dad,

If you are reading this on my laptop it either means that you are snooping through my stuff, which sucks, or I have died and you are going through my stuff, which really sucks. I don't want to be dead, but if I AM dead while you're looking at this, let me try to explain...

The photo where I'm on the beach in my bikini flashing my boobs: I was with friends, and sure we had been drinking some beers -- sorry, Dad -- but it was all in good fun. That day was a blast, really -- the sun was soooo warm, and everybody was happy...

The nude selfies in the mirror: I just wanted to see what I looked like, you know? It's not like I sent them out to any guys or anything, I just wanted to see what I looked like when I was sexy. Guys like sexy girls, and it made me feel good to see if I was sexy too, you know...?

The photo where I am sucking on my boyfriend's thing: I already feel embarrassed with you seeing that, even if I am dead and probably can't feel embarrassed anymore. It was no big thing, Dad: all of my girlfriends do it. It's not like I was a whore or anything, it was just fun, okay...?

It feels weird, writing this and knowing that you may someday see all of these. I hope you know that I was a good girl, Dad, I never did anything really bad. I hope you don't think less of me now, because that would suck, because I love you Daddy, and I hope you always remember me as your Little Girl....

I am Laslo.

Scott said...

The family photo is the way others see you. The selfie is the way you see yourself.

stlcdr said...

"The family photo is the way others see you. The selfie is the way you see yourself."

And, presumably, how you want others to see you.

It's particularly telling when 'he was a good boy, did nothing wrong! Please use this picture from high school a few years ago, and not the selfie taken just before the drug deal gone bad.'

Oso Negro said...

As a man who dates young women, I can attest that their ENTIRE lives are illustrated by selfies. It is pretty much "selfie, or it didn't happen." It is notable that women take WAY more selfies than men.

David-2 said...

Happens for young men too.

Birches said...

If I see someone I know with a bunch of selfies, I automatically feel sorry for them because they must not have very high self esteem or a life. Selfies just produce a lot of comments from other women saying, "So pretty" or "Gorgeous." It's a completely fake self esteem booster.

What I've noticed with my younger selfie taking family members: the selfies stop when they actually start doing something interesting with themselves. One of my cousins was a prodigious selfie poster. She stopped once she got a job she really enjoyed. I was so happy the selfies stopped.

Rockport Conservative said...

I do not like seeing people post photos of themselves. When I was a girl I was taught not to "show off." Sure is a lot of that going on now. I find it sad they are asking for, and need, so much confirmation of their worth for looks. Just sad.

Scott said...

I post pictures of my lunch.

Richard Dolan said...

Just finished reading Cover her Face (PD James, 1962) and your post describes, more or less, what the murdered girl in the book would have been like 50 years on. The central mystery was 'who was she, what made her tick' even for people who had ostensibly known her for years.

Selfies hide more than they reveal. Same with a good portrait painted centuries ago -- that was often the point. Show me as I want to be shown, ignore the rest. So much easier now when subject and artist are one and the same,