May 19, 2004

Nauseating weight loss methods.

Now you can buy a $400 device to attach to the inside of your mouth to disable yourself from taking large bites of food. According to the AP report "The ... chief executive [of the company that makes the device] says he lost 14 pounds simply by wearing it off and on over five months." (Nice research efforts AP!) For $400 you could pay someone to carp at you to take smaller bites. I'll bet many families have kids who would enjoy carping at their parents like that through the meal. I'm trying to think how I'd feel if I went out for a meal with someone and realized--maybe from their slurred speech--that they were wearing that bizarre, ultra-thick retainer as a way to lose weight. Answer: nauseated!

That reminds me: nausea is a great weight loss method. I think you could make millions if you could come up with a pill that makes people just nauseated enough to not want to eat anything. Not enough to ruin their day, but just ever so slightly nauseated! It would be much neater and more elegant (and cheaper) than bulimia.

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