July 15, 2006

"Because you only let me take pictures of you when you're drunk."

Overheard, in a café this morning. I didn't hear the question that provoked this answer, so I'm just offering it up as a contest. You compose the question, you know, like in those New Yorker caption writing contests, which I despise. The reason I don't despise my own little contest is not (just) because it's mine, but because The New Yorker uses some damned picture that was drawn without a caption in mind, the readers come up with such poor ideas, and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity. On the other hand, I really did hear this quote, so there is a true answer somewhere out there lost in the past, and you will probably have some good ideas, and I'm not going to keep doing this if you don't.

IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of funny suggestions, but I'm going to declare a winner. It's AJ Lynch for
"How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?"

33 comments:

Jennifer said...

Why do pictures of me look so ugly the next morning?

buddy larsen said...

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"

I'm Full of Soup said...

Barney said - "Moe- how come you never use your camera until happy hour is over?"

I'm Full of Soup said...

How come we get always get drunk before we have sex?

Robert said...

"How come every picture in this album is of me exposing myself in some fashion?"

Chennaul said...

Why am I always wearing a lampshade?

Chennaul said...

Wait...

That's so cliche.


Why am I always wearing a marmot?

buddy larsen said...

uhhh...trouble at home, Johnny?

buddy larsen said...

LOL--and the sun ain't even set yet!

Ron said...

Why do you keep submitting my nude pics to Modern Drunkard to be their centerfold?

reader_iam said...

Why don't we have any pictures of me that I can send to my mother?

reader_iam said...

Why are my clothes always stained in the pictures you take?

Jennifer said...

Wow, Gerry - party at your house!

Freeman Hunt said...

Our dinner party starts at six--the guests will be here any minute! Why aren't you helping?! Why did you put those HMIs in the living room? Why are you wandering around the house with that light meter? Why is your tripod laying on the kitchen counter?

buddy larsen said...

"Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"

John Stodder said...

How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?

J. Cricket said...

Ann says: "and The New Yorker keeps doing it in spite of the nauseating mediocrity."

Awww. Haven't been picked, huh?

Ann Althouse said...

Great answers! The sex theme is funny. I thought the most logical question, which no one's said yet, is: Why do I look drunk in every single picture you take of me?

The answer I think I like best... well, I'll wait to say. You can start voting. Keep adding more entries too. I'll pick a winner. The prize... ah, I don't know. A front page announcement of your answer... or question really. Hmmm.... this contest is like "Jeopardy."

Jennifer said...

I'm voting for:

How come we always get drunk before we have sex? aj Lynch

My runner up: (do I get one?)

Why is Dick Cheney in all these pictures? Jim

Jennifer said...

"Why am I wearing shorts in all these pictures?"

SippicanCottage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
buddy larsen said...

"Why do you write poems about me when I'm sober?"

Sanjay said...

I know it's too late. But: "Why must you always side with the police?" Requires an emphasis, in the reply, on the word "me."

Jim Kenefick said...

"Why does everyone I meet recently have intimate, personal, gynecological details about me?

reader_iam said...

Why don't carry my photo in your wallet?

reader_iam said...

Why do you always want to use her as your model?

vh: wwoozabi

" 'm f'l'n a little w-wooz[y], [b]abi!"

reader_iam said...

But my vote goes to this entry of Buddy's:

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?"

Tibore said...

"Why do I keep getting e-mail from guys calling me "Hot Momma Babe", and why's our internet bill so high?"

Tibore said...

"How'd we get a 5 foot cake, 3 Chippendales dancers and a Llama in the same picture? At 3 different parties?"

Freeman Hunt said...

My favorites:

"How come I have to buy film every time I go the liquor store?", "How come there aren't any pictures of me in Utah?", and "Why do I look like I forgive you for ruining my life, in all these pictures?"

Gahrie said...

Why do you keep spiking my wheatgrass and mango slushies?

buddy larsen said...

"Hey, I'm not NEAR as think as you drunk I am!"

buddy larsen said...

...one more & then i quit...a lawyer joke:

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a setting hen?"

A setting hen clucks defiance.