January 2, 2011

"Food is so complicated!"

"Who knows what judgments we make about people because of the way they are or seem to be about food?"

42 comments:

Trooper York said...

My brother is a magizine writer and he used to date a bunch of these babes that moved to New York from Kansas or Wisconsin or whatever to work in a magizine. So he is working at Details and I come up to visit him and we decide to hit the San Gennero feast for lunch. His newest babe was there and he introduces me but she was too busy to eat lunch. So I leave my big accounting case and we go out for sausage heros and a few beers and we pick her up a cannoli for lunch in a nice box from Ferrars's.

She takes a look at it and turns up her nose and goes "Oh I won't eat that."

I go "Dude if she won't put a cannoli in her mouth...?

Trooper York said...

That was the last time I visited him at work.

The Crack Emcee said...

"Food is so complicated!"

No, you have made food complicated, which is a sign of insanity.

Just eat, fool.

Trooper York said...

Great cannoli blogging.

The Dude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Toad Trend said...

Food snobbery is a sure sign of insecurity. I agree with Trooper and Crack.

Shut up and eat.

William said...

I have radically different views about cannibalism than most people. I have learned to be discreet, especially when sharing the recipe for the meat pie I bring to the annual family Christmas dinner.

Trooper York said...

I mean you have to love a girl who likes to pop hot buttery salty popcorn into her mouth. Just sayn'

rhhardin said...

Man cannot live by bread alone. Often there must be beverage.

Woody Allen said somewhere.

Penny said...

Some eat to live, and the rest of us live to eat.

traditionalguy said...

IMO The preparation and eating of good food is a social bonding with those present. The chef will come out and chat with the diners at fine restaurants. These chefs are normally men. (I still recommend Babette's Feast as a netflix rental to all who enjoy their food. Babette was a female chef). Christians are invited to a great feast in the Kingdom.

Wince said...

"Poppie's... a little sloppy."

KCFleming said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KCFleming said...

"Food feels symbolic of love, but when we're first meeting we don't quite understand each other's language."

I'm glad Althouse shared that episode about the popcorn.

Doctors try to reduce the whole issue to calories, and thus guarantee failure. Life becomes one giant Krebs cycle; a mechanism devoid of meaning.

I met a woman who has been fat since age 12. 'Strangely', it was when she started being abused. Until that was pointed out, nothing else said to her was effective.

Food is complicated as hell, its meanings myriad.

Trooper York said...

As Siggy once said...sometimes popcorn is not really about popcorn.

The Crack Emcee said...

Penny,

Some eat to live, and the rest of us live to eat.

I lived in France, where that saying's a maxim (they sometimes say it as "We work to live, and you Americans live to work.") so I'll have to add you're also a royal pain in the ass, not even close to worth listening to, who get waaay less accomplished than the average American in "flyover country", yet stay in a perpetual state of jealous frustration when they leapfrog over you with abandon - because you're stuffing your useless face with crap anyone else can get as well - since you're too busy not just thinking yourself, but actually calling yourself, "special" for a common (but pleasant) function of existence.

Like the man said, shut up and eat, you fucking worthless snob.

Ralph L said...

Anyone can play bridge, but it takes a cannibal to throw up a hand.

Learned that from my mother.

Mike Hunt said...

Blogger The Crack Emcee said...

"Food is so complicated!"

No, you have made food complicated, which is a sign of insanity.

Just eat, fool.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That would be too complicated.

Unknown said...

Ann Althouse said...

He bought popcorn and when he offered some to me, I declined, on account of Atkins. It turns out popcorn is extremely important to him. His father actually had a popcorn company. That bit of prissiness could have cost me a dimension of happiness I would never have understood I'd lost.

No prissiness, you were trying to stick to a diet. From what I've gleaned of your inamorato in his comments, he's a pretty reasonable guy. You explained it to him and he understood.

After all, he was smart enough to know a treasure when he found her.

DaveW said...

Eating together is a much more intimate thing than most people realize. There is a bond established over meals that is (at the risk of inflaming Crack) very mysterious.

Getting all Catholicy here, you might note that God chose to establish His presence in our lives through a meal. Many of the most revered ancient customs revolve around meals.

It's far more than mere body maintenance. Pay attention guys, this is a clue on the level of the purple shirt. Getting her to go out to dinner with you as a lot more like a home run than first base - but you have to realize what's up before you can exploit your advantage.

MadisonMan said...

I lived in France, where that saying's a maxim (they sometimes say it as "We work to live, and you Americans live to work.")

And the French have done exactly what in the past 200 years but decline?

The Crack Emcee said...

DaveW,

Getting her to go out to dinner with you as a lot more like a home run than first base - but you have to realize what's up before you can exploit your advantage.

Jesus Christ, is everything you losers do designed to get laid? 70% of all divorces are started by women who grow sick of your income, you ditz, you're just attached to it - and it all started because your dumb ass played this game as a way to say "look what my wallet can do!"

Meanwhile, there are black guys without two dimes to rub together who screw a different girl every night (yes, I'm talking about a friend of mine) and all they did for the privilege was smile right. And believe me, he eats well.

You guys, with your fucking pretensions, talk like the lamers you are. I like a good sit-down dinner as much as the next person, but the fetish you idiots put on it - and the self-congratulations you bestow on yourself for enjoying a common experience - is like deliberately giving everyone who's not you (meaning a real American) a case of food poisoning. You're not fucking special because you friggin' eat, you morons. You're just being stuck-up in the French style and there's nothing - absolutely nothing - worse for an American to try and be than acting French. They're a lazy, conceited, disgusting, and cowardly form of human being that we've had to rescue too many times, in too many ways, to garner respect from Americans in anything - not to mention they despise us. So eat a god damned hot dog on the run - and don't spill on yourself - that's what we've got to be proud of that they haven't mastered yet:

And, if that bitch you're eyeing can't keep up with your stride then, you know, that's not the girl for you.

Oh, and one more thing:

There's not a real American black guy on this planet that would let something as silly as the color of his shirt stop him from getting in a girl's pants. And there's also not a girl on the planet that can stop him.

Cpme on, guys - this is your heritage, too - Man Up.

Fred4Pres said...

Food is not complicated. Food should always be good.

Kirby Olson said...

Peter Singer at Princeton thinks we should judge presidents according to how they eat, or ate. That this is the most reliable indicator of personal ethics.

We have yet to have a vegetarian president!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHzwqf_JkrA

Kirby Olson said...

Word verification: broccoli

Fred4Pres said...

Sex should be good too. And you can have high quality sex with the same woman. Variety is not necessarily an improvement.

DaveW said...

Wow Crack an eight graph rant over that comment?

I feel kind of...honored.

kjbe said...

No, you have made food complicated,

"Nothing is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so" -Shakespeare

You're sounding kind of zen, Crack.

The Crack Emcee said...

DaveW,

I feel kind of...honored.

You should be - you struck a nerve - nothing wrong with that. As a matter of fact, we should all shoot for it. Be yourself, just don't be thin-skinned, and we'll all get along fine.

Now, about that purple shirt,...

The Crack Emcee said...

k*thy,

You're sounding kind of zen, Crack.

Naw, Shakespeare ain't zen. I don't know what he is, but he ain't zen.

Christy said...

Atkins gives me the awfullest breath imaginable, doesn't it you? As soon as I realized that it was my breath that was so bad when kissing my boyfriend, I stopped the diet.

jamboree said...

I met a guy from Back East at a seminar in CA. He took me out for lunch and really was concerned about the level/quality of food - and how it reflected on him.

I said, "It's food. You eat it."

Methadras said...

Ann Althouse said...

Food is so complicated! Who knows what judgments we make about people because of the way they are or seem to be about food.

Food feels symbolic of love, but when we're first meeting we don't quite understand each other's language.


For me it isn't the symbology, but rather the act of eating that became important to me. The first date my wife and I went out on, we went to an italian place. I ordered a bolognese and she ordered a ceaser chicken salad. I mentally rolled my eyes at that because I figured she was going to be another one of those women that gets a salad, picks at it, takes two bites, then says she's full.

We had good conversation while we waited for it and then the dishes hit the table. She had/has excellent table manners and set up her utensils with ease. I just whipped out the fork and the spoon and dug into the bolognese. So as I'm eating, I just happen to look up at her to see how she was faring. Well, to say the least, she ate like an Ethiopian who had never seen food before in their lives and fell in love with it. She ate like a man, but she was very lady like in her approach. I couldn't stop staring at her eating. I only got two maybe three bites into my dish and I just stared at her watching her eat. She ate like she meant it. She ate like it was pleasure. She ate like it mattered and I fell in love right then and there and I told myself that I was going to marry this woman and I did.

She devoured that entire salad and it wasn't small and she's a tiny thing and I'm all like where the fuck did that all go. Afterwards, she sat back with a satisfied smile and I asked her how it was and she said that it was good. She looked at my dish and to me and had seen that I hadn't eaten much because I was so enthralled by watching her eat so she asked me if anything was wrong. I sort of shook myself from the stupor, looked down at my plate and said, "No, nothing is wrong, I was just enjoying watching you eat." She gave me a smile that floored me. First date and pow, I was hooked. So I asked her if she wanted a bite of some of my bolognese and she said yes. So I curled a forkfull of fettuccine with a nice helping of bolognese on it for her and held it up and over to her to eat, she took it with pleasure and said it was delicious. We shared the plate and we finished it.

Needless to say, we've been together ever since and she still eats the same way which makes me happy. She also gives me that smile that is only reserved for me and no one else.

Toad Trend said...

@Methadras

Exxxcelllent.

Your description started out very Michelle Pfeiffer-ish and ended with Sharon Stone.

Kirby Olson said...

That Methadras bit was the best comment of the year by far. Very enjoyable. Only question: is your wife fat?

Kirby Olson said...

Food has complications.

Methadras said...

Kirby Olson said...

That Methadras bit was the best comment of the year by far. Very enjoyable. Only question: is your wife fat?


Thank you. No my wife isn't fat at all. She's still quite svelt although, I do get asked from time to time when she is trying out outfits if any of them make her look fat and then I tell her, "Yeah, they sure do." which immediately gets an open mouthed shock look, she tells me "That's so rude" and then I give her a wink and a pinch where it counts most and tell her she looks as hot as the day I met her and I mean that most sincerely. She still does. She has awesome genetics.

Kirby Olson said...

Methadras hit the jackpot.

I thought this thread would hit the hundreds of comments because everybody cares about food, or so I thought.

I think about it constantly.

The Crack Emcee said...

Methadras,

Great story. It reminded me of everything I loved about being married, though, now, I don't think my wife ever appreciated how much I appreciated about her because, just like to pretty much everyone else, I can seem kinda incomprehensible. (I'm not, mind you - people would just rather wrongly, and stupidly, assume what I'm thinking rather than ask - anyone can seem weird when they don't have an opportunity to rebut ideas put on them that aren't their own.)

What's got me these days are the contradictions. Like she didn't grow her hair long, the way I liked it, until after she started sleeping with the homeopath.

And I told my wife "I love you" every day. I believed in saying it and meant it with all of my heart. But, for 20 years, I could wake up in the middle of the night to her just staring at me, wondering if I - her rock 'n' roll husband - would leave her. I told her even the thought was crazy. But then she left me, and now, after all these years, I'm the one up at night working it out, when they're just the kind of thoughts I never would've pondered in the past. These things were other people's head trips. They were the flashbacks in movies, that made me go "Whoa", because they calculatedly explained all the other shit I had watched without understanding.

But now they explain nothing, except my beautiful wife, with her beautiful long hair, and that special smile I thought was just for me, is gone with some mystic freak and they've killed people - starting with my mother-in-law. And nobody cares. That part really blows my mind.

I hate thinking of the past. I still can't envision a future. But now is, at least, getting easier to deal with. Though the shine is off the rose, or whatever the saying is. You're damned skippy, it is.

"Don't take it easy - just take it", right?

Methadras said...

Crack, thanks. I tell my wife I love her every day or whenever I got off the phone after our conversations. I think with me moving 500 miles away to work and to come back home every couple of weeks for a weekend has given both of us a very new appreciation on the absence of the heart making us fonder. However, it isn't without it's issues. Now that I'm more 'independent' and her as well, our getting together can sometimes be tense only because we are very strong, dominant personalities and getting back together after a long absence like that we tend to want to establish ourselves to each other, so we will get on each others nerves from time to time. But then we realize that this is happened, we take a step back and come at it from a softer point of view and then we can gel once again.

I feel for you though. It can't have been an easy thing to go through that's for sure. I can't tell you that you will recapture the innocence of having someone love you and be loved back like that again, but what I can say is that it's on you to whether or not to open your heart to love like that again. I know for myself if I ever find myself single again, heaven forbid, I really doubt I'd get into another relationship again. There just isn't any human being out there that can top the relationship I have with my wife now, so what's the point of accepting less than that. I won't.

MamaM said...

Methadras, The MrM travels six hours to work and back each week, and has done so for 5 years. The challenges involved with living like this have not been easy, but this year we celebrated what we both agree was our best Christmas ever.

I Will Make You Brooches

I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me,
Of green days in forests and blue days at sea.

I will make my kitchen, and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the broom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and dewfall at night.

And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear! That only I remember, that only you admire,
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Methadras said...

MamaM said...

Methadras, The MrM travels six hours to work and back each week, and has done so for 5 years. The challenges involved with living like this have not been easy, but this year we celebrated what we both agree was our best Christmas ever.


God bless him and you too. If my wife saw that, she'd shake her head and wonder how you two are still together after that kind of stress. She's already irritated at me that my nearly 2 year stint has gone on this long, but like I've been telling her, that the Norcal job market is way better than the San Diego/SoCal job market. Things are coming along, but I suspect that because of the level of joblessness amongst engineers, that the cutthroat employment tactics by many companies down there allows them to get the best people for the most rock bottom wages and these people are willing to say yes to cut their own throats and get that job. I would be competing against a thousand of them for a 1 or 2 job opening per company type of deal. It's nasty. But up here, I'm writing my own ticket. So far.